Tag Archives: Disney

The Mouse and his Friend

Using a match as a walking stick, the old mouse hobbled across the field.  The circus was packing up.  He had almost missed it.  Dodging to evade the boots of stevedores who were pulling down the big top, the mouse let out a squeak, like the rusty wheel of a child’s toy.  He panted until he got his breath back and scurried to the train where the animals were housed.

A lion stirred in its sleep, catching a whiff of the mouse on a breeze but, deciding the morsel was too small to bother with, rolled over and slept on.

I wonder what will happen to them all, the mouse wondered.  Even the lions’ fate concerned him.  They’ll be sold to zoos, most probably.  Not ideal but better than the alternative.  You couldn’t release circus animals back into the wild, after lives of captivity and servitude in the name of entertainment.  They wouldn’t last five minutes.  No, a zoo was their best prospect.  A zoo was better than ending up as a rug or a coat, or a pair of shoes.

He skirted past the reptile carriage.  Was Zorella the Snake Woman still performing her tired old act?  Who would want to see her geriatric gyrations as she wound constrictors around her sagging curves?  The mouse shuddered.  She used to feed my cousins to her snakes.  I’m not hanging around here to end up as a python’s supper.

At last, he came to the elephants’ carriage.  He could hear the snores of the pachyderms from outside.  Good.  He could sneak in, locate his old friend and rescue him.  Easy as that.

He squeezed through a knothole in a plank and found himself on the straw-strewn floor of the carriage.  The smell of the elephants was overpowering.  I used to be used to this, he reminded himself, holding his little hat over his snout.  He tiptoed through the straw until he came to the stall at the end.  He climbed up to the barred window and peered in.

A dark, amorphous shape was snoring in the shadows.

“Psst!  Hey!” the mouse hissed as loudly as he dared.  “It’s me!  It’s your old pal, Timothy!”

The dark shape stirred.

“That’s right,” the mouse encouraged.  “I’m back!  I’ve come to take you away from all this.  And not a moment too soon, it seems.  The law’s changed, you see, pal; you probably know this already.  After tonight, they’re no longer permitted to use animals in circuses.  It’s going to be all acrobats and magicians from now on.  Trapeze artists.  Clowns.  But no animals.  Circuses are going cruelty-free!  It’s wonderful!”

The dark shape sat up straight.  The shadow of a trunk uncoiled and reached up to the bars.  Timothy, recognising the gesture from the old days, hopped onto his old friend’s trunk.

“But I’m worried, see.  What’s to become of you?  I don’t think we should stick around to find out.  I’m going to get you out of here.”

His friend’s head dipped in sorrow.  Timothy heard the clank of chains.

“It’s all right!  I’ve got a friend.  A human.  She’s nice.  An animal rights activist.  She’s stealing the keys from the ringmaster’s office right now.  She’ll be here any minute.  And then we’ll be able to fly away.”

Timothy’s friend shook his head so vigorously, the mouse had to hold on tight to the trunk.

“Everything’s going to be all right, my friend,” the mouse gave the trunk a reassuring pat.

“No,” said the elephant, speaking for the first time.  He stood up, the chains around his feet rattling.  He shook his head, dislodging the blanket that had covered him.

Timothy gaped in horror and surprise.

His friend’s magnificent ears, the very things that afforded him the power of flight and had made him the most famous elephant in the world, were gone.  Docked by the circus owners in a senseless act of spite.  Probably to prevent their competitors getting hold of him.

“No…” Timothy dropped to his knees and wept.  “What have they done to you?”

Broken-hearted, the elephant slumped in sorrow.  There was no magic feather to solve his problems this time.

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Filed under Short story

Rat in the Kitchen

“I can’t BLEEP believe this!” Stewart Gibbons, celebrity chef, ran his hands down his craggy face.  “A BLEEP rat!  In the kitchen!”

The restaurateur squirmed.  “It is a little unconventional—”

“It’s BLEEP unhygienic!” Gibbons roared.  “I’m appalled.  Never in all my years have I come across something so BLEEP disgusting!”

“Actually,” the head waiter piped up.  “Rats are rather clean animals.”

The restaurateur nodded.  “Intelligent too.  They get a bad rap.”

“Because they live in the BLEEP sewers,” Gibbons shook his head.  “Get that rat the BLEEP out of here, give this place a deep clean, and then we’ll talk about what’s wrong with your BLEEP menu.”

“Er,” the restaurateur demurred.  “That’s not going to be possible, I’m afraid.”

Gibbons couldn’t believe it.  “Oh, this is the part of the show where you’re still a bit stubborn, a bit bold?  Trust me, as soon as I make a couple of changes, you’re going to change your tune.  Now, get that rat out of here or I’m calling the BLEEP exterminator my BLEEP self.”

“Mr Gibbons,” the restaurateur wrung his hands.  “There is something you don’t understand.”

“I don’t give a flying BLEEP.  I understand the restaurant business and that’s all I need to know.”

“The rat stays, Mr Gibbons.  That’s all there is to it.  Change the napkins, rearrange the tables, if you must.  But the rat stays.”

“Then we’re done here.  My show has a formula we stick to every episode.  I come along, get appalled, shout a bit, throw my weight around.  You stand up to me (or try to) but I eventually win you around, the customers are delighted, business is booming, fade to black.”

“I have seen your show, Mr Gibbons.  I applied to have my restaurant featured on it.”

“So, do what I BLEEP tell you and we’re good as gold.”

“No, Mr Gibbons, it is you who must do as he is told.”  The restaurateur nodded.  The head chef stole up behind the TV presenter and whacked him across the back of his head with a rolling pin.  Gibbons’s eyes rolled back and he crumpled in a heap.

The chef lifted off his toque, revealing a bright-eyed rat with an ironic expression twitching its whiskers.

“Oh, dear,” said the rat, surveying the scene.  “Well, at least with him out of the way, we can see about realising my dream of having a chain of rat-chef restaurants all over the world. Now,” he rubbed his little pink paws, “we can’t have bodies lying around in my kitchen.  It’s BLEEP unhygienic.”

Everyone laughed—or at least the rats under their hats and toupees did.

Fade to black.

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Filed under humour, Short story

Happy birthday, Princess Sandy!

On May 10th 2012 my original fairy tale adventure was published by Andrews UK Ltd. If you like Disney, the TV series Once Upon A Time, the recent film Jack The Giant Slayer and all of that kind of thing, this is the book for you.

The inept evil sorcerer Diabolos plots to usurp the throne of Meritania but finds his schemes foiled at every turn by handsome window cleaner Nick. Will Diabolos be able to seize the throne? Will selfish brat Princess Alisande ever grow up? What is the secret of Nick’s past? Where is your fairy godmother when you need her? And how will the kingdom cope with the destructive enemy headed its way? A romantic fairy tale adventure with a wry sense of humour, “Someday, My Prince” is a modern bedtime story for all ages.


Here’s a link to the trailer I made with some felt tip pens and a toy castle.

SOMEDAY MY PRINCE is available on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, Nook and all good e-booksellers.

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Filed under Novel