The grey bin is for household waste that cannot be recycled i.e. anything that is unsuitable for any of the following:
The black box is for glass. Bottles and jars. And phials.
The green bag is for paper and card, but please remove the plastic windows from envelopes and put them in the grey bin.
The blue bag is for metal. Food cans, soft drink cans.
The silver bin is for precious metals.
The gold bag is for fingernails, toenails, hair and teeth.
The brown bin is for pet waste.
The orange bin is for fruit peel.
The string bag is for radioactive materials.
The white bin is for forgotten dreams.
The red heart-shaped bin is for love letters and birthday cards.
The turquoise receptacle is for spilled secrets.
The purple casket is for knicker elastic.
The flagon with the dragon is for brew that is true.
The furry bin is for carpets.
The see-through bin is for broken promises.
The wooden bin is for old clocks.
The striped bin is for swatted flies and creepy crawlies.
The spotted bin is for sticking plasters of all sizes, colours and denominations.
The indigo bin is for wasted time.
The revolving cylinder is for bellybutton fluff.
The mirror ball is for breadcrumbs and introspection.
The mustard bin is for fun.
Please rinse all items before placing them in the appropriate bin. All bins should be within six point four inches of the kerb at 4:15 am on the morning of collection. On pain of castigation and bullets.