On the anniversary of the publication of BLOOD & BREAKFAST, the first of the Brough and Miller novels, the proprietor of the ASH TREE sent this letter. I’ve left it in her original Black Country dialect.
Orl right, everybody? It’s all goo here at the Ash Tree B & B. The Michelin bloke wor very impressed with my facilities but I understand that there’s a guide book out there up the Amazon which has got FOIVE STARS – yo cor do berra than that, can yow?
Yow should check it out. I’m in it and my husband Bertie’s in it – he’s a big bloke but doe let that scare you. Yole meet our American guest – a strange wench by the nairme of Cassidy – what koind of nairme is that for a wench? I con remember David Cassidy but he wor a wench, despite his haircut.
I’ll tell yow straight – there was a bit of trouble when the town had the annual beer festival and the coppers got involved. They sent tew on em called Brough and Miller to stick their noses in my business. I told em not to be so saft but eventually the trouble was all sorted and no harm done – well, aside from them what ended up jed, of course.
Any road, we ay ad no trouble since so we’m open for bookings if yome coming to spend a wet weekend in Dedley.
And yo should have a squint at the book. It’s called BLOOD & BREAKFAST and it woe arf mek yower fairce loff.