Corinne’s Big Date

“Let me see…” Corinne retrieved the sheet from the printer’s tray.  “Tall, leggy, blonde…“  Not exactly the most original request she had ever had.  She could guess what was next.  “Busty”. Of course.  Some men never got over their Oedipal fixations – or whatever the psychological explanation was.  “Must be interested in football, cars, and the Second World War.”  Again, nothing surprising.  This looked like it was going to be an easy gig.  She would have to bone up on her WW2 trivia.  Bone up!  Ha-ha!  She made a mental note to quash the innuendos.  Men don’t like women to be funnier than they are.

What else…what else?

The list also said ‘must be able to cook’, ‘have a fondness for real ales’, and ‘an exhaustive knowledge of the films of Steven Segal.”

This last one was probably a piss-take.  Corinne would have to see about having the app redesigned so it didn’t ask the client too many stupid questions.

There was no scope for mystery, and no room for surprise.  The men that visited her website knew exactly what they thought they wanted, and she would make sure they got it.  It was her job.  But, no matter how well she complied with their specifications, the experience was always a hollow one.  She was beginning to suspect men don’t like getting what they want.

She was dressed – the client had specified a little red number that flattered her curves – and her legs had elongated to the required measurements.  She made sure the tank in her torso was empty; the date was to include dinner and she didn’t want to be rushing off to the Ladies’ to pour out the soup course.  The client might think she had some kind of disorder and be put off the whole idea.

She selected the appropriate wig from the rack and secured it to her skull plate.  She rehearsed a few flicks, tossing her head back in fake delight at something the client might say.  Getting into character, an actor would call it.

The phone rang.  It was him!  He said he was waiting in his car out front.

Corinne caught sight of her featureless stainless steel head in the mirror.

“I’ll be right down,” she said in a breathy, excited voice.  “I just need to put my face on.”

 blonde hair


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