Johnny: Good morning, Chad, Angelista. Wonderful to have you on the show. How are you enjoying the British weather?
Angelista: It’s cute.
J: That’s one word for it! You’re here to tell us about your new film; and it’s something that might strike a chord with some of our older viewers because it’s – well, why don’t I let you tell us?
A: Yes, why don’t you?
Chad: If I may: it’s a very British story from the 50s.
A: The 60s.
C: Right, the 60s. Started out as a puppet show.
A: Stop motion animation.
A: It’s not puppets, it’s stop frame animation, when they move it a little bit then take a shot, then they move it some more and so on and so forth.
J: Ha-ha, right. But in your new version, you’re not puppets?
A: Not all of us, no.
C: We’re real. Few prosthetics here and there. I had to wear a fat suit.
A: Not that you need it.
J: Ha. So, what attracted you to the project? What made you want to be involved in a reboot of Pogles’ Wood?
A: The cash! Hah!
C: And the chance to work with Kenny.
C: Monty. Marvellous director.
C: And the time is right, you know. For these stories – these marvellous stories to be told again. But with a modern twist, you know.
J: Tell me more. Will the purists be up in arms?
A: Well, we hope not. We hope we’ve come at the material with respect. Last thing we need is some nonagenarian nerds slagging us off on Twitter.
C: But you’ve got to move with the times, right?
J: So, the title has been changed – to Pogles’ World?
A: That’s right. We’ve opened the story out. They’ve got a whole planet now.
J; And Mr Pogle…
C: That’s me.
J: Mr Pogle has a spaceship.
C: Right on. The special effects on this project – so awesome. They really raise the bar on this one. Hoo-ee!
J: Right. And Mrs Pogle?
A: I – unbeknownst to my husband – am Chief of the Secret Police.
C: But then I find out. Hoo-ee! Then the sparks fly. We’ve got chases and shoot-outs like you’ve never seen before. It’s going to rock your socks off, I promise you.
J: Right… And as Pippin, there’s a relative unknown, isn’t there?
J: Playing your son. Pippin.
C: That’s right. Jonathan Hartley-Farrington. Awesome kid. Never acted before. They chose him from over thirty thousand kids. He’s just a natural. You’re going to love him.
J: But he died on the set.
J: On his first day.
C: Great shame. Waste of potential, am I right? But they’ve CGIed him into the rest of the movie. You can’t see the join. Can’t have the Pogles without Pippin, can you? And wait till you see Tog! You know Tog, right? That kind of squirrelly thing – what is that, I don’t know? Well, in this one, Tog is a robot. State of the art. Got three midgets inside of it. So convincing.
A: Two. Don’t exaggerate and don’t say midgets.
C: Honestly, you’ve going to love it. And the film is dedicated to Jonathan’s memory, which is a nice touch.
A: Because that’s what Pogles’ World is all about: family.
C: It is? I thought it was about the environment.
A: Did you even read the script?
J: So, um, guys. Nitty-gritty time. What was it like working together again for the first time since your very public, very messy divorce? Was it awkward? Was it hard?
C: Not really.
A: We’re professionals.
C: They pay me to be nice to her.
J: And your kids? Were they around the set much?
A: Are you kidding me?
C: We don’t want our kids to see any of this stuff. We’ve gone hard on this one, gone for the R rating. What is that here, 18?
A: Violence and gore.
C: And a little bit of sex.
A: A very little bit!
J: So, it’s not a family film, then?
A: Manson Family, maybe.
C: It’s what the public want. We had focus groups all over the States. They want explosions and chases and all sorts of derring-do.
J: You didn’t think to consult a British audience?
C: Why would we? The States is where the money is at. We’re bringing the story to a new audience. Sure, we’ve made some compromises.
A: We’ve got Sly Stallone narrating.
C: But it’s a real thrill ride. I can promise you that.
J: Right. Well. I look forward to stumbling across the DVD in the pound shop. Angelista, Chad, thank you.
C: Pogles out!
A: Get me my agent.
CUT TO COMMERCIAL.